I'm sorry to say, I had a grown-up hissy fit this week. In the throes of hormonal upheaval (never a good time to take new information on board), I tried to learn something new and my brain, emotions and temper just couldn't take it. I wanted to throw something across the room. Instead, I went and had a long shower and cried to my husband afterwards about how dumb it all made me feel. Then I sent myself to my room and took myself off to bed!
Let's back up a bit and start at the beginning.
I'm a simple gal, and I don't like change much, and, to be honest, my natural reaction to tough situations is to run away. In recent years and in my line of work, this has shown itself most often in learning new computer programs. With age and practice, I make myself sit still and keep plugging at it until it clicks (and it always does and quickly becomes second nature), but let me tell you, lots of cells in my body are screaming "Run away! Run away now!" during the learning process!
Now, being a simple gal, I have very low tech needs. I have a "dumb" phone just for calls and texts because I don't want or need a phone that does anything else. I couldn't care if I was the last person on the planet with an old phone. I don't buy into the brew-ha-ha about having to have the latest "this", "that" or "the other" (or with modern consumer behaviour, it's more like "this", "that" AND "the other" in white AND black, please). But this Stone Age behaviour of mine means I am low-tech in gadget knowledge, too.
So, on Tuesday night, after graduating from my Couch to 5km running program, I wanted to go for a run on my own, with music to listen to. For the past nine weeks, I have been running to the sound of traffic and my own gasping breath. Now, the last time I needed mobile music, Walkmans were still the rage. I had a yellow one, and I rewound it or fast-forwarded through the tracks using a biro from my pencil case. But the 2012 process of learning to run required an iPod and the Couch to 5km App. My husband (very tech and gadget savvy) borrowed an iPod touch from a friend, and knowing I was clueless and with a "please help" from me, he bought and downloaded the App for me, set it up and showed me how to turn it on and start the App. Piece of cake.
Now, on Tuesday, nine weeks on, I thought it high time I learned how to use this gadget I'd been running with for two months, and I asked my husband to teach me how to put music on it. Ah, that was the beginning of the end! Having to register it, and put my credit card details in, and name folders and find music... ARGH! Why so hard!?!? The way I moaned and "how come?"d my husband made me sound like I was 80, lamenting about the good old days, and how the world today has gone mad! The urge to hurl the thing against the wall and storm off in a 3(3)-year-old huff was immense! At least I was mature enough to give myself a time-out and send myself to my room!
But the simple truth is that I AM a simple gal. I don't like gadgets and they baffle the bajeepers out of me. I have an old TV that weighs a tonne and I'm fine with that. I don't want any Apple products and would happily do without them if it wasn't for a desire to see the progress I'm making with running, without the need of maps and the car's odometer to measure the distance. I work on computers all day and the last thing I want to do when I get home is pull out a smaller version of the same screen that I've been staring at all day. I'd much rather talk to my husband, read my daughter stories and cuddle her to sleep, and watch TV, and have a long shower and read a book. Am I so odd in my lack of tech-gadget savvy? Does this cheese stand alone?
But I know if I just keep forcing myself to use it, I'll get it eventually. I always do, and I'll be laughing at myself... eventually. I might just need a few more time-outs along the way!