Saturday, 26 January 2013

Little bit of courage

So, I've decided to start my own online business.  It would give me some independent income and possibly be the start of taking back control of my income - exciting, daunting and scary at the same time.  It's scary and daunting because if you don't work, you don't get paid - there is no sick leave, maternity leave, holiday day or carer's leave.  And I'd have to go out there and advertise and market myself.  I know I'm good at what I do, but I feel really uncomfortable telling others about it.  I'd feel like I was being "up myself".  It's very Australian to talk yourself and your talents down.  Shame.  But I'm excited by the thought - and I haven't been excited about my career prospects since I first saw myself in a power suit, then found out I got into the course I wanted at university!  So that's a good sign, right?

Up to this point, I've always been happy being a "worker monkey", and having other people deal with the yuck side of business - hiring, firing, budgets and meetings.  I just show up, do my job, and go home at the end of the day, and miraculously money appears in our bank account every month.  Ta da!  But being a worker monkey also means your future and job security is in someone else's hands.  And at the moment, I'm not coping very well with that!  Stomach ulcer waiting to happen!

It might sound very boring of me, but most of what I crave these days is security and stability.  It could have something to do with the year's worth of uncertainty my family has gone through because of my current job!  And while I'd have control over my own work environment if I started my own business, I'm not sure I'd cope with the uncertainty of the work flow - will I get enough work this month to pay the bills?

But it can't hurt to try, right?  And if you never try, you'll never know!  In five year's time, I could have so much work to do that I'd need to take on a staff member!  Might need to start getting over my fear of paperwork and forms, I think!

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