My goodness it has been a long time between drinks, and there is much to catch you up on.
My last post was about going for our last and final round of IUI because I couldn't keep putting myself and my marriage through the financial and emotional stress of it all. But by the grace of God, that last attempt worked and I'm now 31 weeks pregnant with a beautiful baby we're calling 'Titch' for now because we've chosen not to find out the sex - how I do love surprises! It was a conception unlike our first - very unfun and unromantic - but at least my husband was in the room with me!
But as soon as those two pink lines appeared, I started freaking out. About everything! "Am I really ready to do this?" "What was I thinking!!?!" "I've waited so long for this, I just know something is going to go wrong"! I didn't write an update before now because I was worried (read: convinced) something was going to go wrong; and then I just got busy with life and ignored my online journal journey.
And honestly, it's only been recently that I've started to chill out a bit (a bit) because I can feel baby moving around, and if they needed to be born now, there's a really good chance that they'd be okay (though I am glad I live in a big city, with my hospital only 20 minutes from home... and I reckon an ambulance could do it in under 15). But I know I won't truly relax until I'm holding Titch in my arms, happy, healthy and strong. That is my prayer. My due date is in early January, so we'll wait and see when Titch wants to arrive!
It's been a bit of a rough ride, but nothing compared to some (hello long-distance friend! You know who you are) - faint and light-headed spells, hip pain, back pain, insomnia, muscle cramps, anaemia, low blood pressure... you know, the usual. But carrying around an extra 12kg will do that to a person.
I make noises when I sit down and stand up now. I have to sit on the bathroom floor to brush my teeth because my legs get too tired to hold me up. I can't stand too close to the kitchen bench to cook comfortably, and need to sit back from the dining table to make room for my tummy. My feet swell and ache on my busy home days when I do my washing and cleaning jobs. I've had to take my wedding rings off because my fingers swell so much in the heat I fear losing my ring finger due to lack of circulation! But I'm embracing all of it (so far) because I'm pretty sure this will be our last baby. There is no way I am going through that fertility doctor process again (to a sigh of relief from my husband and our bank account), but I think we're going to save a lot of money on birth control from now on! Ha!
So stand by as this blog changes direction again - from struggling with wanting to study but not knowing what (definitely settled on social work) or having the money (still waiting for that lotto win!); to whether or not I'd lose my job through 'future proofing' the company (didn't happen and thankfully no new rumblings among the water-cooler whisperers); to struggling with infertility; now pregnant; and hopefully out the other side to being a mum of two on maternity leave, navigating the world of cloth nappies and how not to lose my mind, while Miss 3 starts kindy and I try to take my baby back to work with me! Yep, wish me luck on that one!
I hope you still want to join me on the ride. Peace out.