So, don't you just hate it when you're the meat in the sandwich, and you could go a big old rant on Facebook or, say, a blog you happen to write, but the slices of bread and other sandwich filling would explode if you actually told the full truth and shared your true feelings and you're just trying to keep your shite together and keep the peace and everything's sunshine and rainbows? Yep. Me either.
See, like the blog I wrote about being a different version of yourself when you're with different groups of people, it's the same with information and/or feelings. There are times when you just have to keep your big mouth and heart shut! And I struggle with that because I have both a big mouth (not in the blabbing-I-can't-keep-a-secret way, but in the I love to talk and share about my life way) and a big heart - and the bigger that is, the more easily it's trod on and hurt, and by age 34 that's happened a lot and surprisingly doesn't lessen with time... so far. Yep, I'm a big old talking softie and there are lots of things I'd love to share with the world but in order to keep peace and unity, I have to keep it all inside. And that's hard! And it hurts!
I'm going to pray about this one, and try and be guided in the best way to handle it because I can feel myself changing into a cranky, snappy and cynical person. And I don't like her. Sometimes you just have to let it all out and let the cards fall where they may, because even though they might be a mess and will be damaged by the time they find their way back into the pack, at least you're not wondering and bottling any more. The only thing worth bottling is a good beer.
Stay tuned.
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